Disconnect to Connect

I know…I’ve been MIA from posting my inner thoughts since June…JUNE, PEOPLE!

I got completely wrapped up in wedding plans; working to pay for those plans and then coaching my group of cheerleaders in between all the craziness life brings.

I finally have a moment to breathe!! And then life starts back when the New Year kicks in and it’s a never ending cycle.

I did want to pause for a moment and reflect. Not necessarily on the past “year” just because it’s now 2018 but just in general. Something that stuck out to me just last night was this:

Society nowadays stays so wrapped up in social media and how you appear to others on every platform the internet provides. Myself included.

I post quite often. About cheer, hair, Casey and anything else that I think “oh I have to show everyone this!” I love to use those outlets to brag on Casey and the many things he does for me. I genuinely feel he’s the best thing I’ll ever have in my life.

But I really had to stop and ask myself:

“When’s the last time you actually told Casey face to face you love and appreciate him? Not using social media to do it, using your words and verbally telling him?”

It really was almost like a slap in the face; a huge wake up call!

I think so many people get so wrapped up in the game of “who’s doing what”, using social media platforms to keep an eye on everyone else, we forget to look at ourselves and what’s going on in our own lives.

Take the time to express how you feel to others: face to face; write a letter; make a phone call. Step back from Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and really communicate with people.

Time is short-don’t waste it with your face stuck in the internet. Come up for some fresh air every once in a while!


Dear 2015…

Dear 2015,

I always have hopes at the start of every year to be productive, to be successful and to make a true effort to have the best year I can. No one intends to have struggles; to have to face demons they never imagined.

But you brought me more than I ever expected. More than I ever imagined for my life. 

You brought me struggles. You brought me late nights of tears and doubt in myself and my marriage. You brought me to my knees, crying out to God: begging Him to change my circumstances. To fix the broken parts of my life and my heart and to take hold of and mend what I had once thought was the path chosen for my life.

You brought me to a dark place. You brought me to true thoughts of ending my life; brought me to a dark room with the weapon in my hand and you had brought me to unstoppable tears because I knew the point I had gotten to in that moment wasn’t who I was deep down. 

 You see, I once loved life. I once loved myself so much, I never struggled with self esteem. I never doubted myself, never doubted who I was becoming as a grown woman. 

But 2015, you brought me to my lowest point and ultimately, you brought me to a crossroads:

To continue living a life controlled by the stuggling; the depression; the anxiety and the ugly panic attacks that goes with it; to the sleepless nights and to looking at a long life of all of these things, knowing they would never end. 

Or to change everything. To taking control of my life again. To accepting the things I couldn’t change; to calmly sitting back and watching my life fall apart and slowly pick myself back up again. 

So I took the only real option there was…

2015, aside from all the hurt and heartache you initially brought me, you brought me the best year of my life. 

You brought me freedom from the dark place I had been in. You brought the smile back I had lost within the depression I had found myself in. 

You brought me peace within my soul and you brought the sunshine after the storm. You brought the song that now fills my heart, full of joyful noise. 

You brought me the best man I’ve ever known in my life. You brought us the start of our lives together; giving us a love story I never thought I would be blessed enough to be apart of. 

You brought me everything I never knew I was missing and for that: I’m forever thankful. I can be grateful for the bad you brought me, 2015, because in turn, you brought the best chapter of my story. 

So for every single thing you brought me, 2015, thank you.